Thursday

Method 4 - Day 1

1. artificial nails for while. - FAIL


2. have teeth removed - FAIL

3. wear gloves/think about gross things - FAIL

4. chewing gum - IN PROGRESS

5. paint the nails

6. blog about your nails every day

7. hypotherapy

8. nail clipper often

9. hypnotherapy

10. get a petri dish and culture under your nails

11. stop 2 nails at a time every 2 weeks

12. get a manicure first

13. have a competition with your DH (admittedly this is DH's suggestion as he would like to quit too)

14. incentive prize for nails - $ per finger for scrapbook stuff

15. bandaids or thumb feeet at education station

16. Google a new method.

17. nail poison

 
Chewing Gum.  I do like gum.  I keep some on my desk all the time.  I guess I need to eat more often.  Taking 2 pieces now.... Chew chew chew.... I do like gum.

Method 3: Day....Something...

Fail

The longer this glove method goes on, the more I am reverting to my old ways.  This morning alone - I've nipped into 2 of the nails.  I've yet to embark upon the complete desecration that I once did but the chewing is becoming worse.  Losing ground....

Typing with gloves is hard.  Who wants to go get gloves everytime they settle in to do something.  This method is NOT for the lazy at heart.  

I deem this method to be a failure for me....moving on....

Monday

Method 3 - Day 2

1. artificial nails for while. - FAIL

2. have teeth removed - FAIL
3. wear gloves/think about gross things - IN PROGRESS
4. chewing gum
5. paint the nails
6. blog about your nails every day
7. hypotherapy
8. nail clipper often
9. hypnotherapy
10. get a petri dish and culture under your nails
11. stop 2 nails at a time every 2 weeks
12. get a manicure first
13. have a competition with your DH (admittedly this is DH's suggestion as he would like to quit too)
14. incentive prize for nails - $ per finger for scrapbook stuff
15. bandaids or thumb feeet at education station
16. Google a new method.
17. nail poison
 
Ok, so I spent a little quality time researching under fingernails.
 
Did you know that artificial nails are dirtier than any other type of fingernail?  I was thinking about that when I had the nails on...there was just so much space under there - I could imagine what sorts of creepy things could grow there.  Did you know that people who chew their nails have very clean nails?  First, there is very little room under there for anything to hide.  On the downside, we nail biters are injesting anything that does manage to hide there.  Did you know that men's nails are dirtier than womens? Did you know the millions of creepy things can live under your nails?   I am not even going to mention them here.  The thought of germs really didn't phase me but when I started to read about eggs and things - I had to stop reading.
 
So temporarily thinking about gross things will work...and give my co-worker Mrs.Smith many laughs as I visibly shudder while recalling them.  Luckily I have a terrible memory and these things will likely fade away and leave me quite happily ignorant again.
 
I've noticed a couple duplicate about gross nail things in my list so I am going to condense the list.  I also removed petri dish nail cultures - I really don't have the resources to do that as interesting as it might be.  :)
 
In the meantime, I did bring my mini - gloves with me should the temptation become too much....

Sunday

Method 3 - Day 1

1. artificial nails for while. - FAIL


2. have teeth removed - FAIL

3. wear gloves

4. chewing gum

5. paint the nails

6. think of the gross things

7. blog about your nails every day

8. hypotherapy

9. nail clipper often

10. hypnotherapy

11. get a petri dish and culture under your nails

12. stop 2 nails at a time every 2 weeks

13. get a manicure first

14. have a competition with your DH (admittedly this is DH's suggestion as he would like to quit too)




3. Think about the gross things under your nails and wear gloves often.

OK.  Tonight once the kids are in bed, I'll google all sorts of horrible under nail things and report back.  In the meantime, I'm going to search for my mini gloves so I can take them to work with me tomorrow.  I'm sure my co-workers Mrs. Smith and Sven will have a good laugh at me.  :)   That is worth it all by itself.

Method 2 - Day 1

Time to start a new method.  Here is the list again (I actually have 2 more to add but they are saved on my desktop at work so I'll add them later):

1. artificial nails for while. - FAIL


2. have teeth removed

3. wear gloves

4. chewing gum

5. paint the nails

6. think of the gross things

7. blog about your nails every day

8. hypotherapy

9. nail clipper often

10. hypnotherapy

11. get a petri dish and culture under your nails

12. stop 2 nails at a time every 2 weeks

13. get a manicure first

14. have a competition with your DH (admittedly this is DH's suggestion as he would like to quit too)

 
Ok...have all my teeth removed.  I suppose it has its benefits: the ability to eat Jello more often, save on money by not buying toothbrushes and certainly a valid method to weight loss.  However, I do prefer my lips in this position and NOT sunken it and I really couldn't give up eating apples as they do give a satisfying crunch.   So....going to have to give this one a fail.   Thanks Skye for the giggle...

More updates

Sorry again for the lack of updates.  3 times a year a deadline hits work and last week was one of those weeks.  I'm happy to say that I finished about 90% of what I needed to do and should be able to wrap it up on Monday.

So....well....umm...method 1 failed.  It worked for a while and has caused me to cut back my chewing but I'm slowly reverting back.  I think if I continued to add/remove nails this would work as i continued to break my habits and replace them with something else.  :)   Perhaps after I try all the other methods and fail - I'll start this one again.  Sorry Sheagatzi - gave it a go and great suggestion!!

Tuesday

Method 1: Day 9

I've been busy at work so let's catch up....

By Sunday night through various means I only had 2 fingernails left and I managed to remove them. I tried in vain to remove the remaining glue from my fingernails but some of the glue stubbornly remained - deciding to wait it out until it grows off.  LOL

I marvelled at the 1 millimetre that my real nails had grown during their week in hiding and snarled at their roughness. 

Sunday night my husband and I sat down to watch "The Stepfather".  Let me prefice that to say that the movie was terrible.  Really really horrible.  2 thumbs down.  I wasn't expecting much but the movie failed to rise even to my low expectations.  During the whole 15 minutes of suspense in the movie, I chewed my nails.  I chewed them like a thirsty desert dweller drinks water - deprived of the pleasure for so long.  Sigh.

I soon realized what I was doing and stopped.  I managed to notice after only 2.5 fingernails had met their demise.  Strike 1 for this method.

Fast forward to yesterday when I managed to nibble off another couple of nails while stressing about nothing in particular.

Then on the drive home today - I was picking!!!   Not strike 3.  Not yet.

In spite of these mishaps, I am chewing less.  I am paying more attention to what I'm doing.  I am becoming more aware.  The jury is still out on this one...for now.

Saturday

Method 1: Day 6

Thursday started off to be a great day.  I woke up well before my alarm and reached blindly for my eyedrops to restore my vision.  Then I blinked happily and yawned a few times.  I noticed how much my new nails shone in the early morning light.  They looked like vampire's nails (if you like the Anne Rice description).  That amused me to no end since I've always had a little something for vampires...

Fast forward to  the days end when I was giggling and chattering to my husband and co-worker (let's call her Mrs. Smith).  I reached behind me to the desk drawer where I keep my purse and ....SNAP...off went the middle nail on my right hand.  I looked in vain all around me but alas...it was gone to that place where single socks go...    I warned my green faced co-worker that she may walk across it with a sickening crunch the next day.

I rode home slightly disgusted at my newly revealed old nail.  It wasn't smooth or even and certainly did not have the vampiric sheen that I so admired only a few hours before.  Despite that, I decided not to replace it since my 7 days with nails was coming to an end anyway.

Which brings us to Friday...
I was in my scrapbook room madly sorting through my kid's clothes & toys for an upcoming outgrown it sale.  Ummmm....well that's not entirely true.  I was actually staring transfixed at a taped Days of Our Lives episode (from Mid-Feb - I am behind. Melanie's been shot!) and reaching to move my wheeled chair to put an item in a rubbermaid bin.  SNAP!  Off came the little fingernail of my left hand.   I stared forlornly at the nail sitting on my desk before deciding it wasn't worth so much sympathy and chucking it into the trash.

Not even an hour later I bounded (yes, actually bounded) up the stairs to move a load from my washer to the dryer and rammed my hand into the dryer door.  You guessed it - SNAP!  Lost the nail next to the pinky on my left hand and it HURT.  Throbbed like nobody's business!  I know you are wondering if I am being this clumsy on purpose and I really wish I could agree with you.  Sadly, I really suck that much and coordination has never been one of my strong suites.  I blame it on being left handed.  Isn't there some research that says left handers are more prone to accidents?  [nodding]  I thought so.   I'll accept that since similar research says left handers are more creative.  :)   Anyway - that nail was angrily tossed away since I was mad about hurting myself. 

I was just finishing up in my scrapbook room by punching some circles out of some fun foam using my "I should have replaced this crappy punch with a quality one years ago" punch.  Par usual, the thing jammed and I tried all my usual methods to unjam it without success.  I resorted to banging it on the side of my table and when that didn't work I had to reach for a hammer.  Happily, that worked with a minimum of damage to the punch.  I cheerfully sat back down to resume punching and realized that I was now missing the thumbnail on my left hand.  I stared at it resentfully, watched it gleam at me in vampiric mockery.  Then, using a tiddly-wink-like fling,  shot it into my trash can with no other words other than "meh".

Here I am 4 nails down, 6 not-as-lovely as before left.  Tomorrow night I am going to attempt to remove them.  I should have kept the instructions as I'm not entirely sure how to do that.  LOL.  Tomorrow night will be 1 week through this method and then I will have 2 weeks left to not chew....or I'll be moving on to method 2.  I'm not quite sure which outcome to root for...

Wednesday

Method 1: Day 3

Ok...so they feel better today. I am getting used to using different parts of my finger besides the stubby ends.  Sigh.  I am soooo not a girl sometimes.  LOL!

I made the mistake of wearing button fly jeans today and I am having quite the time doing them up today.  Having no fingernails is better for this.

I have discovered an unexpected upside to having fingernails today besides having an excuse to flutter my fingernails around in everyone's faces.  Scratching.  Yep.  Not crazy itching that needs satisfying but almost massage like scratches.  Cheek, neck, arms...scratches without leaving angry red lines behind from my jagged half nails.  It's fun, it's hypnotizing, it's therapeutic....    Job/budget cutbacks?  Who has time to think of that when there is scratching....

Self Mutilating Melanie

Tuesday

Method 1 - Day 2

Here they are curtesy of Save-On foods.  I must have stared at their selection for about 10 minutes trying to figure out what the heck I was doing?  I know nothing about this!!  Finally decided on this brand with an "very short" length.  It took me an hour to put these things on!  LOL!  Then I decided that "very short" was still very clawlike and they were driving me crazy.  I took a nail clippers and trimmed them down to my "very short" which is still longer than I have ever had my nails.

Hee Hee!  Me with fingernails.  That can't be my hand.  LOL! 

I went to sleep fearing that I would slash myself unknowingly in the night.  Luckily I did survive until morning and even managed to dress myself with my alien-feeling hands.

My son declared that my nails looked weird and I agreed.

On the way to work I had an animated conversation with my husband and when we wondered what the weather was like in Las Vegas, I eagerly reached into my pocket to grab my phone and check the weather there.  Upon doing so, I stabbed my finger into my side and snapped a nail off.  Sigh. 

The other 9 stayed put until after work when I glued the 10th one back on.

These nails are supposed to be removed in 7-10 days.  It's been about 24 hours.  My thoughts?

They look nice.  My thumbnail looks weird and ill - fitting and a couple of them are a tad crooked...but it is fun NOT to have to hide my hands. 

The downside?  I can't stand them.  They feel heavy and pressured on my fingers.  I am not used to nails sticking out even a little and I'm finding it irritating to do basic things like go to the bathroom and type.  I can easily irritate my co-worker by tapping on my desk (hee hee Mrs. Smith).  They irk me and feel creepy.  Yes, it's pitiful.  How sad am I?  I will try to stick it out for 7 days before i remove them despite my squeamishness about them.

They have helped me learn some of my triggers though.  Driving to work I found myself feeling them for rough parts to pick at which would usually lead to my chewing.  At lunchtime while reading my book, I found my hands straying toward my mouth - stopping when I felt how foreign they felt.  Hopefully in the next 6 days I can recognize even more of my triggers and have this work!  On the other hand...can the first method really be the one that works?

Or am I going to have to pull out my teeth in method 2?  Time will tell....

Sunday

Ahh Best Intentions...

I had every intention of going to a drug store today but I got home from spending part of the weekend with my parents to find DH down with a fever.  By the time I came back up for air, it was 9:30pm and I had nibbled off another fingernail.  :)

On the plus side, DH is feeling better and I'll be heading to Shopper's tomorrow to get some nails.  Thanks Tess.  I really couldn't have nails that long - I'd stab myself after having short nails for almost 30 years.  Hee Hee.....

Friday

The ideas have been gathered...

I've received a  ton of ideas and I'm ready to get started.

In the order they were received, here they are (and yes, they are ALL here - LOL!):
1. artificial nails for while.

2. have teeth removed
3. wear gloves
4. chewing gum
5. paint the nails
6. think of the gross things
7. blog about your nails every day
8. hypotherapy
9. nail clipper often
10. hypnotherapy
11. get a petri dish and culture under your nails
12. stop 2 nails at a time every 2 weeks
13. get a manicure first
14. have a competition with your DH (admittedly this is DH's suggestion as he would like to quit too)


So - the first suggestion is to have artificial nails.  Since I refuse to go to a salon to do this, I will have to buy my own.  Since I 've never had fingernails, I've never bought them or applied them.  The whole thing seems very creepy to me.  LOL  I think they are going to drive me up the wall.  But...who knows, maybe I'll love them.  Sometime this weekend, I will buy some nails!!!

Let the games begin....

Stop that Chewing...

This blog is to chronical the quest to stop the decades old habit I have of chewing my fingernails.  I've posted the challenge and am waiting for some takers...